Cora's Story

I know I kind of kept silent about our adoption on the blog and when I finally made the announcement, I didn't leave much time for people to digest it before we received our precious baby.  So, in case you're wondering how the process works, here's how it went down:

In October we began with our first orientation meeting with the agency.  Over the next couple of months, we filled out applications, created a profile book about ourselves, and interviewed separately and together with the agency.  By early December, we had finished our homestudy, marking the end of the administrative part of the process.  And so we began our wait to be chosen by birthparents as the adoptive family for their child.

Two months passed without a call from the agency and I finally got the nerve up to call the agency and get an update.  I didn't want to be that crazy woman who was hounding the agency for her baby, but I thought two months of no contact warranted my call.

On Thursday, February 7th, I called Jan, the agency director, and asked how things were going.  She responded with "Well, I would never call and tell you this, but.....".  Basically, she told me we had been selected by a birthfamily, but she did not think that the birthfamily would go through with the adoption.  She said she had been working with the couple for months and it really looked like they might decide to keep the baby in the end.  Normally she would not call an adoptive family and share that, but because I had called her wanting to know how things were going, she decided to tell me.  She just told me to keep praying for our birthparents, hoping that God would guide them to make the best decision for the baby.  In the mean time, we were considered "off the market" for other birthparents choosing adoptive parents for their babies.  The good news was that our birthmother was due February 22, so we only had to be in limbo for a couple of weeks.

At this point, Slik and I really had mixed emotions and we got down on our knees and prayed hard for our baby (if this was even really our baby).  The next day, Friday, I called Jan back and told her we'd be willing to meet the birthparents even if they had not made up their minds up in an effort to do our best to convince them that we would be great parents for their baby.  In the pre-dawn hours Saturday morning, I came down with a case of food poisoning.  As I was lying in bed, Jan called and said the birthparents had a change of heart and wanted to meet that evening.  Not wanting to put them off, I agreed thinking that I'd be over the food poisoning by then.  It was an anxiety-ridden day as I felt pretty sick up until an hour before the meeting time.  However, with the help of prayers from friends and some Immodium, I was well enough to make the meeting.

Our first meeting with the birthparents went pretty well.  I mean, there's no doubt that both sides were a bit nervous at first, but Jan was there to faciliate and once we got warmed up everyone felt more at ease.  We talked for a few hours that night and Slik and I walked away with a positive feeling.  However, when I talked to Jan the next day, she warned me that she was not fully convinced that the birthparents would follow through with the adoption.  She said meeting us was a huge step for the birthparents, but when it came time to relinquish their parental rights, parting with their child would be very hard for them.  It was really hard for us to guard our hearts and emotions while anxiously hoping that this was our child.  Regardless, we continued to meet during the next week, and our hopes that the birthparents would stick with the adoption grew.  Due to the uncertain nature of our situation, we chose only to share this news with family and close friends.

We continued meeting over the next couple of weeks and the birthparents kept us updated on doctor's visits.  With each meeting that passed, we felt more and more certain that our birthparents were set on their decision.  Jan also agreed and told us they were definitely working an adoption plan.  On Thursday, February 21st, a day before our birthmother's due date, our birthfather called after their appointment and said that they were going to induce our birthmother that night!  Apparently her blood pressure was high and since she was pretty much at her due date, it was time to have the baby.  Thursday night passed with no news of the baby.  Friday morning came and I decided to run a few errands before the baby's arrival.  I'll never forget how I was in line at FedEx when I got a text that our birthmother's water had broken.  I went home and continued to wait, trying to get some crazy last minute sewing done (no surprise there!).  Finally around 4 pm, we got the call telling us to come to the hospital and meet our baby!

Here  we are, getting ready to start on the biggest adventure of our lives - parenthood!

We walked into the birthmother's room where we first laid eyes on our little girl.  She was quietly lying under the heat lamp, basking in the warm glow of the light.  I felt with all of my heart that this sweet little girl, lying sleepily under the lamp would be our very own soon.  In all the excitement of seeing our baby for the first time, I did not remember to whip out my camera and take a picture, but later on, I snapped a photo of her when the nurse put her under the lamp to check her out:

The nurse bundled our baby up and handed her to me.  It was an amazing experience to finally hold her in my arms.  We got a few moments to soak in our baby before the birthparents introduced us to their family.  It was quite a whirlwind as we met sisters, brothers, parents, and family friends.

I'd like to think that this was my first time holding her, 

but with all the craziness, it was probably more like the 2nd or 3rd.

I'm pretty sure this was Slik's first time holding our daughter

The birthparents allowed us to spend most of the evening with our baby and the nurses at the hospital were nice enough to find us a small vacant room so that we could spend some time alone with our baby.  We stayed until around 10 pm and then gave our baby a kiss goodnight.

Slik giving her a kiss goodnight.

We spent most of Saturday hanging out with our birthparents and our baby.  It was a nice and quiet time, and we treasured the time we got to spend with our precious baby and the people who were giving us this amazing gift.  Of course, during all of this, there was still a small sense of uncertainty since nothing was final until 48 hours after her birth when the birthparents signed legal documents and relinquished their rights.  We left the hospital Saturday night, very excited and unable to take advantage of our last night of quality sleep.

Cora holding Daddy's hand

Sunday morning, we watched church online and counted down the hours.  We were texting our friends and family, keeping them posted on what was going on.  Our Sunday school class was praying for our adoption and I'm sure there were many people praying when 2:43 pm rolled around and the signing began.  

The birthparents asked us to show up at the hospital at 2 pm and we got to spend some time with our baby.  We left the room to give the birthparents privacy while they signed their papers and the nurse gave us discharge instructions. 

Slik, almost a daddy!

Afterwards, we went back to the birthmother's room and prayed together, packed up, and left the hospital together.  Everything went extremely smoothly, thanks to all the prayers lifted up!

Cora, in her carseat

Ready to go home!

I can't really describe all the emotions of that day.  The anticipation, the nervousness, the joy, the excitement, and later at home, the feeling of being blessed beyond belief.  We woke up on Sunday, just the two of us, and by the end of the day we had brought home a baby, changing our lives forever!  Our adoption was a bit of a roller coaster, but in the end, now that we have Cora home with us, I can definitely say it was worth it!

Introducing Baby Slik!

I guess it's about high time I formally introduced the newest member of our family - Baby Slik!  She's been home with us almost a month now and we've just been soaking up every minute of her (hence the lack of posting).  I didn't mean to take a huge break from posting, but honestly, as a first-time mom, the last thing I really wanted to do was sit in front of my computer uploading pics and blogging when I could be snuggling with my cutie pie.  Plus, we've had many family members come to visit, help out, and meet our newest family member.

So, here she is, our sweet baby girl!

Cora Lin - born February 22, 2013

8 lb 3 oz and 20 inches

Our first family (self)portrait thanks to my wider lens and Slik's long arms

Me and my sweet girl - can you tell I'm thrilled to be a mommy??

Daddy feeding Cora for the first time

I'm still working on putting together more details of her birth and coming home story, so I'll post that in a bit!

Our Adoption

Whenever I tell people that we are adopting, the first thing people ask is "From what country?".  It surprises people that we are actually adopting domestically, right here from TX.  Questions like these remind me of how little I knew about adoption when we first started the process.  I didn't have many friends that had adopted and I didn't even know where to start.  My best friend had adopted older children through the foster system, but that was very different from what we wanted to do.  I was completely overwhelmed by the choices of agencies, the locations you could adopt from, and the finances.  One day, I was unloading to my best friend and she suggested I look into my church resources to see if they had some adoption help.  Sure enough, I found out that our church has a huge adoption ministry called Legacy685.  From there, we found support and encouragement through caring couples that had been through or were currently going through adoption.

I'm sure many of you who haven't been able to talk to me about our adoption have some questions.  So, I thought I would share with the you the answers of the most common questions I am asked when I tell people that we're adopting. So here goes - our adoption FAQ's:

1.  Where are you adopting from?
We are adopting domestically and most like here from Houston.  Our agency is licensed in the state of TX.

2.  Why did we choose to adopt?
I have a chronic illness called lupus, which is an autoimmune disease.  It's possible for women with Lupus to have healthy and successful pregnancies, but all lupus pregnancies are still considered high risk.  Doctors generally recommend that your lupus be in full remission before you consider getting pregnant.  For the past few years, we've been waiting for that to happen, but my lupus has remained mildly active.  On the outside, I look fine, but I do occasionally experience symptoms that indicate my lupus is not in the best shape it could be in.  On top of that, if I were pregnant, I would need to switch off some of the medications that I am currently taking.  We tried doing it last year, but the new "pregnancy-safe" drugs I tried were not able to manage my lupus as well.  So, after years of waiting and praying, we have decided to move forward with adoption and save everyone (including ourselves) the stress and worry of risking my health in pregnancy.

As Christians, we also believe that adoption is truly reflective of the love God has for us when He adopts us as His own children.  In the bible, James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world".  While our baby may not be a true orphan, s/he is still separated from her birthparents because they are unable to care for her.

3.  How did we pick our agency?
Through a resource guide provided by Legacy685 and a friend who had done some similar research, I found a list of agencies families in the ministry have used before.  While the ministry does not "recommend" any agencies, they are happy to help provide a list for you to look into.  I just went down the lists and called a whole bunch of agencies, in and out of state.  We chose our agency, AIM, for various reasons.  1. It was located in Houston, so we wouldn't have to travel for orientations and trainings.  2. The agency is Christian, so it is pretty aligned with our beliefs.  3.  (Probably the most important reason) Their predicted wait time was 9-12 months, which was the shortest out of all the agencies I called.  This is because they only choose to work with a small number of adoptive families at a time so the wait time is shorter since the waiting pool is smaller.

4.  How old will the child be?
We will be adopting a newborn baby.

5.  How does that work?
We create a photobook and give it to the agency.  Potential birthparents the agency is working with will view our photobook based on whether or not they fit the profile we specify.  The birthparents then select the adoptive parents and can meet with them if they choose in an open adoption.  The adoptive parents usually receive the baby a few days after birth.

6.  Is it final when the birthparents make their selection?
No, the birthparents have until 48 hours after their baby is born to change their minds.  At 48 hours after birth, the birthparents either take the baby themselves or relinquish their parental rights.  The birthparents must wait until 48 hours after the baby is born to relinquish their rights to ensure that they are mentally coherent and no longer suffering from side effects of medications (mainly for the birthmother) when they sign.  After they relinquish their rights, they cannot get the baby back unless they can prove that they were coerced to sign.

7.  Can you pick a boy or girl?
No, our agency does not allow us to choose the gender of the baby.  You don't in real life, so it's pretty fair.  Also, if the birthmother does not find out the gender of the baby, it would be a hassle to pick different families for each gender.

8.  Can you pick the ethnicity of the child?
Yes, you can specify which ethnicities you are ok with and then the agency will show your books to mothers that match your specifications.

9.  Will the adoption be open?
Yes, most likely.  It really depends most on what the birthparents want.  Our agency promotes open adoptions, but they do do closed ones if the birthparents request that.  In a closed adoption, neither party shares any information.  In an open adoption, there are different types of openness.  A semi-open relationship is where contact is made through the agency.  You share first names, but not any more identifying information.  The agency acts as an intermediary and is responsible for delivering letters and pictures.  In a full open relationship, you share information and can contact each other directly.  Very open relationships may include face to face visits.

10.  Isn't it scary to do an open adoption?
Initially, I thought so, but after much reading and training from the agency, we've learned that it's actually beneficial to the healing of the birthparents and the child to know more information about each other.  The child will always wonder about where they came from, and having that information satisfies that need.  Birthparents usually care a great deal about their baby - that's why they chose to carry the baby until birth.  Having information reassures them that they made the best choice for their child.  It's common misconception that birthparents will want to get their baby back at some point.  Really they want what's best for the child so disrupting and upsetting the child's life is the least thing they want to do.  We have heard that good relationships with birthparents usually end up where birthparents are like extended family members that are remotely part of the child's life.

So there you have it.  I hope you found this helpful.  If you have any questions, feel free to email me at jslikdesigns (at) blogspot (dot) com.  I'm always more than happy to share more about adoption and our process!

Cute Babies and Cute Fabric

I've been super busy sewing the past couple of weeks.  Good for business, not so good for getting my blog posts up.

A couple of months ago, I made a blanket for a special baby and sent it off before remembering to take some photos of it.  Recently, her aunt shared a couple photos of the cutie pie enjoying her blanket - infinitely better than pictures of a blanket draped over my trusty IKEA chair!

Doesn't she look happy in her blanket?

I got a new shipment of fabrics in last week, so I've added them to my shop/albums.  So, feel free to click on the links and view my blanket fabrics and bibs and booties fabrics.  Here's a look at the new fabrics:

   

  

I also ordered more fabric for these two blankets:

   

If you're interested in any of these, let me know. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Mustache Bash for a Miracle Baby!

A couple weeks ago, I helped throw a mustache-themed baby shower for a good friend of mine.  My friend Rachel and her husband lead our bible study small group and really have been a wonderful encouragement to us as we've been going through the adoption process.

The first time I met Rachel, she and her husband, Tim, announced in Sunday school at church that she was pregnant.  They shared that they had experienced secondary infertility for a few years after having their first son, and had actually started the adoption process when Rachel found out she was pregnant!  They still planned to adopt in the future, but were putting it on hold until their baby was born.  The funny thing is, that morning on the way to church, I had prayed and asked God for direction about whether we should adopt.  I had been feeling frustrated because I didn't know any people who were adopting.  I had so many questions, but no one to answer them.  Well in class, our Sunday school teacher asked us to do an icebreaker and talk to the people in front of/behind us.  Rachel and Tim were in front of us, so when they turned around and introduced themselves, we mentioned that we were thinking of adopting.  I remember that Rachel's face just lit up and they were both immediately so excited for us.  We hadn't even decided if we were going through with it yet!  In the weeks and months following, Rachel and Tim were a huge encouragement and support for us, having gone through the same things we were going through.  Rachel had researched many agencies and gladly handed over her information and results to me so that I could take a look.  To think that a week before, I had been feeling overwhelmed and had no idea how to even begin looking at the adoption process, much less find an agency.  God definitely answered my prayers!

We ended up joining Rachel and Tim's bible study group and have gotten to know them better and have watched their baby grow steadily.  Their baby is truly a miracle baby and God's answer to many prayers.  Rachel and Tim have continued to encourage us and pray for us as we are awaiting our own baby.  There have been times where I think Rachel has been more excited for our adoption than me!  For someone going through the adoption process, there is nothing better than having friends walking beside you, praying for you, and sharing in your excitement.   I am just so grateful for friends like Rachel and Tim. 

So, I was more than happy to help plan a special day celebrating Rachel and her miracle baby!  It was a mustache-themed bash complete with yummy food, little mustaches, and a photobooth.

Rachel and her mom taking the first picture in the photobooth

A picture of Rachel of me

I made a whole bunch of mustaches - thank you pinterest!  Unfortunately I did not
get pictures of all the yummy foods and cute cake pop favors other friends made.

Of course for her gift, I made her baby some of his own jslik designs items!  I let Rachel pick out her favorites from my stash.

 

Updated Fabrics and Blankets

Happy Friday everyone!

I've taken some new pics of my fabrics recently and updated my blanket fabrics album.  You can check it out here.  I've included pics to show the embroidery option(s) along with the fabrics.  I usually only buy one or two of a particular print so I'm constantly updating my fabrics and buying more.  Check back periodically to see if there are some new fabrics available.  And, just to add a friendly reminder, you can choose from the fabrics in this album for bibs and booties.

I'm also working towards getting my fabrics up on Etsy to make ordering easier.  It seems that whenever I mention that I sell handmade baby blankets, people automatically ask me if I'm on Etsy.  So, to make my life (and your lives) easier, I'm going to reopen my shop.  Now I just need to get around to actually doing it...

And to give you some inspiration (and tempt you to order) here are a few blankets I've made (semi) recently:

Happy (2 weeks after) New Year!

Well, it's 2 weeks into the New Year and I've pretty much missed my chance to wish everyone a happy new year.  But, since it's my blog, I can do whatever I want right? So happy new year anyway!

I ended up having a bunch of friends over to ring in the new year.  I made Hainanese Chicken Rice, which really made me miss Singapore.  We had a fun time hanging out, sharing embarrassing stories, and eating good food.  However, I came away with a few realizations on aging.

You know you're getting older when:

1.  You'd rather stay at home than go out for New Year's Eve


2.  You end up toasting the New Year with mugs of tea

In Aslik's defense, he was the most festive out of us by toasting with his glass of sparkling apple juice.

3.  Your New Year's Dance party is powered by Just Dance 4
(I will not post any embarrassing photos of that)

4.  You try and replicate your parent's old pictures and do the serious Asian mafia pose.

It took us a couple of tries to master the serious pose.

Even then, it was too hard not to smile for some of us :-)

A more natural pic

I'm really excited for this new year.  I'm continually grateful for the friends I have here in Houston.  It's just really special to me to have childhood friends nearby.  It's also wonderful to make new friends even if my time here in Houston is limited.  Most of all, I'm hoping this is the year we'll be able to grow our family with a baby.  With adoption, it's hard to really predict when we will be matched with a baby.  Odds are that it will be this year, but you never really know.  I'm sure alot of you are wondering about how it all works, but I'll save that for another post.

As much as I loved living abroad, I'm so glad that Aslik and I get to spend most of this next year living in the states.  I think life is just so much more comfortable and easy here in the US.

So, I hope you all had a great time celebrating the new year and have gotten off to a fantastic start!  I know I have :-)