Our Adoption

Whenever I tell people that we are adopting, the first thing people ask is "From what country?".  It surprises people that we are actually adopting domestically, right here from TX.  Questions like these remind me of how little I knew about adoption when we first started the process.  I didn't have many friends that had adopted and I didn't even know where to start.  My best friend had adopted older children through the foster system, but that was very different from what we wanted to do.  I was completely overwhelmed by the choices of agencies, the locations you could adopt from, and the finances.  One day, I was unloading to my best friend and she suggested I look into my church resources to see if they had some adoption help.  Sure enough, I found out that our church has a huge adoption ministry called Legacy685.  From there, we found support and encouragement through caring couples that had been through or were currently going through adoption.

I'm sure many of you who haven't been able to talk to me about our adoption have some questions.  So, I thought I would share with the you the answers of the most common questions I am asked when I tell people that we're adopting. So here goes - our adoption FAQ's:

1.  Where are you adopting from?
We are adopting domestically and most like here from Houston.  Our agency is licensed in the state of TX.

2.  Why did we choose to adopt?
I have a chronic illness called lupus, which is an autoimmune disease.  It's possible for women with Lupus to have healthy and successful pregnancies, but all lupus pregnancies are still considered high risk.  Doctors generally recommend that your lupus be in full remission before you consider getting pregnant.  For the past few years, we've been waiting for that to happen, but my lupus has remained mildly active.  On the outside, I look fine, but I do occasionally experience symptoms that indicate my lupus is not in the best shape it could be in.  On top of that, if I were pregnant, I would need to switch off some of the medications that I am currently taking.  We tried doing it last year, but the new "pregnancy-safe" drugs I tried were not able to manage my lupus as well.  So, after years of waiting and praying, we have decided to move forward with adoption and save everyone (including ourselves) the stress and worry of risking my health in pregnancy.

As Christians, we also believe that adoption is truly reflective of the love God has for us when He adopts us as His own children.  In the bible, James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world".  While our baby may not be a true orphan, s/he is still separated from her birthparents because they are unable to care for her.

3.  How did we pick our agency?
Through a resource guide provided by Legacy685 and a friend who had done some similar research, I found a list of agencies families in the ministry have used before.  While the ministry does not "recommend" any agencies, they are happy to help provide a list for you to look into.  I just went down the lists and called a whole bunch of agencies, in and out of state.  We chose our agency, AIM, for various reasons.  1. It was located in Houston, so we wouldn't have to travel for orientations and trainings.  2. The agency is Christian, so it is pretty aligned with our beliefs.  3.  (Probably the most important reason) Their predicted wait time was 9-12 months, which was the shortest out of all the agencies I called.  This is because they only choose to work with a small number of adoptive families at a time so the wait time is shorter since the waiting pool is smaller.

4.  How old will the child be?
We will be adopting a newborn baby.

5.  How does that work?
We create a photobook and give it to the agency.  Potential birthparents the agency is working with will view our photobook based on whether or not they fit the profile we specify.  The birthparents then select the adoptive parents and can meet with them if they choose in an open adoption.  The adoptive parents usually receive the baby a few days after birth.

6.  Is it final when the birthparents make their selection?
No, the birthparents have until 48 hours after their baby is born to change their minds.  At 48 hours after birth, the birthparents either take the baby themselves or relinquish their parental rights.  The birthparents must wait until 48 hours after the baby is born to relinquish their rights to ensure that they are mentally coherent and no longer suffering from side effects of medications (mainly for the birthmother) when they sign.  After they relinquish their rights, they cannot get the baby back unless they can prove that they were coerced to sign.

7.  Can you pick a boy or girl?
No, our agency does not allow us to choose the gender of the baby.  You don't in real life, so it's pretty fair.  Also, if the birthmother does not find out the gender of the baby, it would be a hassle to pick different families for each gender.

8.  Can you pick the ethnicity of the child?
Yes, you can specify which ethnicities you are ok with and then the agency will show your books to mothers that match your specifications.

9.  Will the adoption be open?
Yes, most likely.  It really depends most on what the birthparents want.  Our agency promotes open adoptions, but they do do closed ones if the birthparents request that.  In a closed adoption, neither party shares any information.  In an open adoption, there are different types of openness.  A semi-open relationship is where contact is made through the agency.  You share first names, but not any more identifying information.  The agency acts as an intermediary and is responsible for delivering letters and pictures.  In a full open relationship, you share information and can contact each other directly.  Very open relationships may include face to face visits.

10.  Isn't it scary to do an open adoption?
Initially, I thought so, but after much reading and training from the agency, we've learned that it's actually beneficial to the healing of the birthparents and the child to know more information about each other.  The child will always wonder about where they came from, and having that information satisfies that need.  Birthparents usually care a great deal about their baby - that's why they chose to carry the baby until birth.  Having information reassures them that they made the best choice for their child.  It's common misconception that birthparents will want to get their baby back at some point.  Really they want what's best for the child so disrupting and upsetting the child's life is the least thing they want to do.  We have heard that good relationships with birthparents usually end up where birthparents are like extended family members that are remotely part of the child's life.

So there you have it.  I hope you found this helpful.  If you have any questions, feel free to email me at jslikdesigns (at) blogspot (dot) com.  I'm always more than happy to share more about adoption and our process!

Cute Babies and Cute Fabric

I've been super busy sewing the past couple of weeks.  Good for business, not so good for getting my blog posts up.

A couple of months ago, I made a blanket for a special baby and sent it off before remembering to take some photos of it.  Recently, her aunt shared a couple photos of the cutie pie enjoying her blanket - infinitely better than pictures of a blanket draped over my trusty IKEA chair!

Doesn't she look happy in her blanket?

I got a new shipment of fabrics in last week, so I've added them to my shop/albums.  So, feel free to click on the links and view my blanket fabrics and bibs and booties fabrics.  Here's a look at the new fabrics:

   

  

I also ordered more fabric for these two blankets:

   

If you're interested in any of these, let me know. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Mustache Bash for a Miracle Baby!

A couple weeks ago, I helped throw a mustache-themed baby shower for a good friend of mine.  My friend Rachel and her husband lead our bible study small group and really have been a wonderful encouragement to us as we've been going through the adoption process.

The first time I met Rachel, she and her husband, Tim, announced in Sunday school at church that she was pregnant.  They shared that they had experienced secondary infertility for a few years after having their first son, and had actually started the adoption process when Rachel found out she was pregnant!  They still planned to adopt in the future, but were putting it on hold until their baby was born.  The funny thing is, that morning on the way to church, I had prayed and asked God for direction about whether we should adopt.  I had been feeling frustrated because I didn't know any people who were adopting.  I had so many questions, but no one to answer them.  Well in class, our Sunday school teacher asked us to do an icebreaker and talk to the people in front of/behind us.  Rachel and Tim were in front of us, so when they turned around and introduced themselves, we mentioned that we were thinking of adopting.  I remember that Rachel's face just lit up and they were both immediately so excited for us.  We hadn't even decided if we were going through with it yet!  In the weeks and months following, Rachel and Tim were a huge encouragement and support for us, having gone through the same things we were going through.  Rachel had researched many agencies and gladly handed over her information and results to me so that I could take a look.  To think that a week before, I had been feeling overwhelmed and had no idea how to even begin looking at the adoption process, much less find an agency.  God definitely answered my prayers!

We ended up joining Rachel and Tim's bible study group and have gotten to know them better and have watched their baby grow steadily.  Their baby is truly a miracle baby and God's answer to many prayers.  Rachel and Tim have continued to encourage us and pray for us as we are awaiting our own baby.  There have been times where I think Rachel has been more excited for our adoption than me!  For someone going through the adoption process, there is nothing better than having friends walking beside you, praying for you, and sharing in your excitement.   I am just so grateful for friends like Rachel and Tim. 

So, I was more than happy to help plan a special day celebrating Rachel and her miracle baby!  It was a mustache-themed bash complete with yummy food, little mustaches, and a photobooth.

Rachel and her mom taking the first picture in the photobooth

A picture of Rachel of me

I made a whole bunch of mustaches - thank you pinterest!  Unfortunately I did not
get pictures of all the yummy foods and cute cake pop favors other friends made.

Of course for her gift, I made her baby some of his own jslik designs items!  I let Rachel pick out her favorites from my stash.

 

Updated Fabrics and Blankets

Happy Friday everyone!

I've taken some new pics of my fabrics recently and updated my blanket fabrics album.  You can check it out here.  I've included pics to show the embroidery option(s) along with the fabrics.  I usually only buy one or two of a particular print so I'm constantly updating my fabrics and buying more.  Check back periodically to see if there are some new fabrics available.  And, just to add a friendly reminder, you can choose from the fabrics in this album for bibs and booties.

I'm also working towards getting my fabrics up on Etsy to make ordering easier.  It seems that whenever I mention that I sell handmade baby blankets, people automatically ask me if I'm on Etsy.  So, to make my life (and your lives) easier, I'm going to reopen my shop.  Now I just need to get around to actually doing it...

And to give you some inspiration (and tempt you to order) here are a few blankets I've made (semi) recently:

Happy (2 weeks after) New Year!

Well, it's 2 weeks into the New Year and I've pretty much missed my chance to wish everyone a happy new year.  But, since it's my blog, I can do whatever I want right? So happy new year anyway!

I ended up having a bunch of friends over to ring in the new year.  I made Hainanese Chicken Rice, which really made me miss Singapore.  We had a fun time hanging out, sharing embarrassing stories, and eating good food.  However, I came away with a few realizations on aging.

You know you're getting older when:

1.  You'd rather stay at home than go out for New Year's Eve


2.  You end up toasting the New Year with mugs of tea

In Aslik's defense, he was the most festive out of us by toasting with his glass of sparkling apple juice.

3.  Your New Year's Dance party is powered by Just Dance 4
(I will not post any embarrassing photos of that)

4.  You try and replicate your parent's old pictures and do the serious Asian mafia pose.

It took us a couple of tries to master the serious pose.

Even then, it was too hard not to smile for some of us :-)

A more natural pic

I'm really excited for this new year.  I'm continually grateful for the friends I have here in Houston.  It's just really special to me to have childhood friends nearby.  It's also wonderful to make new friends even if my time here in Houston is limited.  Most of all, I'm hoping this is the year we'll be able to grow our family with a baby.  With adoption, it's hard to really predict when we will be matched with a baby.  Odds are that it will be this year, but you never really know.  I'm sure alot of you are wondering about how it all works, but I'll save that for another post.

As much as I loved living abroad, I'm so glad that Aslik and I get to spend most of this next year living in the states.  I think life is just so much more comfortable and easy here in the US.

So, I hope you all had a great time celebrating the new year and have gotten off to a fantastic start!  I know I have :-)

Christmas Recap

I just wanted to thank everyone for your well wishes and responses to our big news!  It's been a very interesting road for us and we are really looking forward to welcoming a baby into our family.

For Christmas, we drove up to Dallas to celebrate the holidays with our friends and family.  It was really wonderful being able to spend Christmas with family.  The past two years, we've been abroad and have had to make do celebrating Christmas in the tropics by ourselves.  I think what really makes Christmas Christmas is the time you spend with family.  I mean Christmas is centered around God's love for us, which He demonstrated by giving us the ultimate Christmas gift, his son Jesus Christ who would later die on the cross for the sins of all mankind.  So, Christmastime is a time to celebrate the birth of Christ, but also a time to spend with your family and understand God's love through the love of your own family.

We had a great time seeing all of Aslik's family, since the last time we saw them all was about 6 months ago. Aslik and the boys managed to squeeze in a round of golf on Christmas Eve.  In the meantime, the girls watched "While You Were Sleeping" and heckled the boys from the porch when they got to the 17th hole.

 Beau, the bulldog, trying (but failing) to stay awake and catch Santa on Christmas Eve.

Apparently, he didn't do a good job because the next morning, Santa had dropped off quite a few presents. Guess everyone was good this year!

Baby Slik even got a few gifts and his/her first stocking!

Our Christmas family photo

By the time we were done opening presents, it was snowing outside.  We actually got a white Christmas!  My first in many years...it was wonderful!

The next morning, the snow was still on the ground.  We tried to go "sledding" down the hill with makeshift cardboard sleds, but it didn't quite work.  I slid about 6 inches and got stuck.  Guess there just wasn't enough snow for that.

Although the sledding idea failed, I did get to do some "ice skating" instead.  Because Dallas doesn't really have snow plows, the snow in the cul-de-sac in front of the house had iced over and was like an ice skating rink!  I had some fun gliding around.

Luckily, the main roads weren't too iced over so we were able to make our drive home.

It was so great to celebrate Christmas with our family.  It was also super exciting because our Baby Slik got his/her first presents!  I know adopting is a bit different than when you're expecting, but every "first" is just as exciting!  2012 was another great Christmas and I can't help but feel blessed when I think of all the love and support our friends and family have given as we walk through this adoption process.

Christmas Card and a Big Annoucement!

This year, we're back in the states so I actually got to send out real Christmas cards as opposed to the email ones I've been sending the past couple of years.  Unfortunately, I didn't order enough, so I wasn't able to send one to everyone I wanted to.  But then again, where do you draw the line of who should get a card?  Maybe I should stick with email cards after all...:-)

Anyway, this is our card!  You can click on the image below to view the front of the card in a larger format.

Wish You Merry Christmas Card

Turn your favorite family photos into Christmas cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a way to provide you with a link to read the back of the card.  However, there's a very important announcement on the back I don't want you to miss!  I didn't have the foresight to bring my computer with me on our trip up to visit family in the Dallas area, so I don't have access to my photos.  I've reverse downloaded some pictures to recreate the back of our card so you won't miss out on our big announcement.  It may not look the best, but you guys will get the point.

Yup, that's right! We're so happy to announce that we are adopting domestically and hopefully will be able to add a little one to our family in the upcoming year!

So, as we enjoy spending our first Christmas in a couple of years with family, we hope that you have a wonderful time with your family as well.  Merry Christmas everyone!